Conspiracies that don't even need UFOs

I want to buy stock in some mining companies so I've been researching the market. If you're a follower of my blog you know that many analysts believe the gold futures markets are manipulated. I thought you'd enjoy some of the conspiracy theories I've read about gold and silver:

The Plunge Protection Team did it
During the 80's President Regan put together a group to monitor and protect the economy. This is a fact. They are called The President's Working Group on Financial Markets, but I think it was the Washington Post that gave them the beloved nickname in the subtitle. This conspiracy theory says the PPT has directed Wells Fargo and Goldman Sachs to buy massive gold shorts. Why? Because soaring gold prices would hurt the US dollar.

It's a plot to end communism
Back again to Regan's time, this theory says the USSR's wealth was tied up in gold and oil, so the US government worked inside to bring down the prices of those commodities. Prices went back up after communism fell. They've come back down again now, so, are we still trying to bring down Russia? Or is there some other country with vast holdings of gold and oil that we want to bankrupt?

There's no gold in Fort Knox
Let's go back to Presidents Johnston and Nixon. How did they fight in Vietnam without incurring a huge deficit? Theorists believe they spent all the gold in Fort Knox to pay for that war. This is why no-one can go inside Fort Knox anymore when there used to be tours there. It's also why Nixon ended the gold standard and let our currency float. Also, all the gold on the government's books is still priced at $42.00 an ounce -- what it was when we were on the gold monetary standard. Why hasn't it been repriced to today's value?

The Banks are doing it
This theory is a bit like the first one. Only instead of the banks shorting gold at the request of the government, they are shorting gold to protect each other's earlier short positions.

The Futures Market are naked
I hope you're not expecting an undressed trader. COMEX is the market where precious metals are traded. Say your firm buys mega ounces today for delivery in three months. When the trade comes due you either take the ingots or take the money for them. Unless you're a dealer or industry that uses metal, you would probably take the money. Conspirators believe COMEX is selling more shares of precious metal than it has. There's a movement afoot to get traders to take their earnings in metal rather than in cash to force COMEX's hand.